obsessions

i have this really bad habit of latching on to whatever suits me at the moment. currently, it's Hala Gorani, the L word, and rediscovering the music of Belly. in previous years obsessions have included River Phoenix (yes, even post-mortem. we don't choose these things), Paige 23, California Dreams, My So-Called Life, Buffy and Angel, The Breakfast Club... and the list goes on and on and on.

see, i have no life. and i like to spend an awful lot of time in my head, so things have to occupy my thoughts. and it's disconcerting how well i can let my life revolve around my obsessions. just yesterday i was at home, sick, with a massive headache (big nod to Advil) to complement my head cold, and all i could think to do was listen to my music and watch dvds of buffy and angel. even through my headache, yes. isn't that the saddest thing ever?
a few years (or so) ago i swore to myself (with a few of my friends serving as witnesses) that i would get a life. one, of course, just had to point out that, well...

"you have a life. you just need a new one." - FOBulous in NY

and, well, that plan didn't exactly pan out. i like being... well, for lack of a better adjective, pathetic. i like staying at home and being kept company by multimedia. sure, i enjoy hanging out with my friends, but i don't mind a good dose of downtime with my things. this, after all, is why i work and struggle to make money: to buy things.
anyway. yes, it's pathetic. yes, i could be doing so much more with my time. but, really, why would i want to do a thing like that?

"Earth to retards. You have an obsession, you pretty much fit it into your schedule, no matter what." - Cordelia, in "Angel"