grr. argh.

Chris Claremont, Joss Whedon: you owe me the money I spent for my X-Men: The Last Stand ticket.

I love the whole Jean Grey/Phoenix/Dark Phoenix storyline. I drove my male cousins crazy because of this fanaticism. And given an X-Men movie with that story and Shadowcat? Geek heaven.

Except it wasn't.


The movie, to be fair (and please feel free to reprimand me if I ever write the words "in fairness" here), wasn't bad. And what did Sickboy from Trainspotting say about things that aren't bad?

The story (if you can find it) is actually good. They just had too much story, too many characters, and not nearly enough movie. In the hands of Bryan Singer, X-Men thrived as a film (to borrow from Kevin Smith, there's a difference between a movie, and a film). In the hands of Brett Ratner, the X-Men franchise became an effing movie. A braindead summer movie.

Think: Bryan Singer is the man behind The Usual Suspects, Apt Pupil, and House (even though he thought Hugh Laurie was American, but we'll forgive him for that).
Brett Ratner is the person behind Rush Hour. Yes, he also directed Red Dragon, but how much credibility can you give someone linked to Lindsay Lohan?

I have plenty of gripes, including:
1) Jean Grey/Phoenix's bad dye job when she comes back from the dead. And Famke, kill your makeup person.
2) Anna Paquin relegated to a cameo appearance. And (sort-of spoiler!) what will you do if there's another movie?
3) Shadowcat not being very cheeky/smart.
4) Too many characters. And, dammit, don't throw in names like Jubilee and Psylocke in the credits just for the sake of it.
5) Ben Foster is not nearly pretty enough to play Angel.

But there's also:
1) Colossus is pretty. And is a good likeness to the comic book version.
2) Inspired casting, that Kelsey Grammer.
3) The Fastball Special.
4) Shawn Ashmore. Yes, he's dating effing Harriet the Spy, but I'll take him while Aaron Ashmore isn't around. -- Which reminds me: look out for that Veronica Mars episode with Aaron Ashmore, Michael Cera and Alia Shawkat.
5) Hugh Jackman.

I'm a little annoyed that almost every major movie since The Lord of the Rings and The Matrix trilogies are marketed as a trilogy. Spider-Man. X-Men. I can't think of others right now, but I'm sure there are others.

Sadly, I am looking forward to Superman Returns. I originally wasn't, I felt Bryan was betraying me for leaving X-Men for that, but it's got Parker Posey. And better Brandon Routh than effing Tom Welling.


Did Alonso win again? Dammit.

I don't know what to promise the universe to allow the karmic balance of letting Martina Hingis win the French Open.



There can only be one Return, okay, and it ain't of The King, it's of The Jedi.
- Randall (Clerks 2)



Oh, and Bonnie:
a) I've seen clips of that Lego-lized death, but I can't remember the game.
b) Come on. A british accent. Doesn't everything sound better in foreign accents?