knowing is half the battle

After reading Victoria's entry regarding stalking, i remember the shame of a certain friend of mine who stalked Boyzone. Don't deny it, you've told the story to enough people to not earn denial rights.

But, seriously, Boyzone?

...

Spent mucho dinero on something completely useless except to provide me with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Yes, readers, I gave in to the gravitational pull of my beloved, and I went and bought a Snake Eyes figure.

Much like China and her truck, my love for Snake Eyes is shrouded in mystery. Sure, at least he's human, but we never got to see his face. Ever. Even Destro had a face (and in the movie, the face will be Christopher Eccleston's. Oh, honey); Storm Shadow and Jinx took off their masks. But, honestly, I don't want to know. I don't care. Let my love for Snake Eyes remain with his masked self, because, dammit, I'm not ready to be disappointed (as for Ray Park playing the role of my beloved in the movie, well, as long as Mr. Darth Maul doesn't take off the mask, we're cool).

What is it about Mr. "File Name: Classified"? Well, I think it goes without saying that we all love a man of mystery (not you, Austin). For me it's that in the cartoons he's always so non-judgmental. He's a stoic soldier, doing what he's told, and yet there's a subtlety to him, that you know that while he's doing the task, there's always something more going on. Not to mention, his pet is a wolf.

There's also the part where unlike most other Joes, he's got an actual back story, a legend, if you will, in his rivalry with Storm Shadow. Well, heh, you've got two badass ninjas in one show, how can you not pick the one who doesn't speak (and given that I watched this in the 80's, you know how bad the dialogue was back then)? Sure, he cheated on many a fight by having Timber save his ass when Storm Shadow was winning, but, you know, dude has a pet wolf.

And unlike the blatant relationship of Flint/Lady Jaye and Destro/Baroness (by the way, dammit, Baroness is a blonde in the movie? That's bullshit.), the Snake Eyes/Scarlett story has more than enough layers in it, including, of all things, a love triangle! Duke, you have no chance (unless Scarlett prefers someone whose face she can actually see...).

So, yes. I now have in my possession, after a very long period of pining, a figure of my beloved. And when the movie comes out, I'll likely buy another one, one I can take out of the packaging and... uh, play with. Because there's no way in hell I'm taking this one out of the box.


... And, yes, the movie looks like a mish mash of "cool!" and "WTF?" based on the cast and leaked information, but, well, Ray Park kinda looks badass in his costume. And did I mention Christopher Eccleston? You know I'm going to watch it.



"Wait, wha--? Lady Jaye and Destro are related?"
- Bazooka